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Posted: Thursday June 16, 2016
Sexcerpts

Morris Panych’s latest play is a dark and steamy comedy that explores the harmonies and dysfunctions of six sexually entangled musicians on an ill-fated winter tour. When a blizzard strands this sextet for an extra night, they have only their instruments, each other, and their secrets to keep them warm.

Today on Meta-Talon, may you be tantalized by the following (s)excerpts from Sextet, taken from pages 28–9, page 32, page 41, and page 80 in that order.


SYLVIA
Somebody has to have sex with somebody. It’s a tour.

HARRY
No, they don’t.

SYLVIA
Oh Harry, you’re so exotic, like those flowers that don’t ever have sex.

HARRY
Everyone in Japan is celibate.

SYLVIA cries a little.

HARRY
What did I say?

SYLVIA
Nothing.

HARRY
Are you ovulating?

SYLVIA
If only penises didn’t have men attached to them.

HARRY
And what about me?

SYLVIA
What about you?

HARRY
I’m attached to one.

SYLVIA
Well …

HARRY
A gay man is not really a man, in the conventional sense of the word, is what you’re saying. A gay man is sort of like a … peekapoo: a harmless little pet with a weird face … This analogy is not really working.

SYLVIA
I like you because you’re you.

HARRY
If only I weren’t.

SYLVIA
You can be who you are with me, because we’re friends. Sex isn’t part of it at this point.

HARRY
Why did you say “at this point”?

SYLVIA
Meaning at any point. Did I say “at this point”?


GERARD
I can feel music without it being sexual, Mavis.

MAVIS
Is that why you were rehearsing in the nude with that harpist?

GERARD
Well, if you want to put it like that.

MAVIS
Sorry. A “tantric duet,” I think you called it. Sullying Massenet, it’s shameful. That meditation has religious intentions.

GERARD
We’re not doing the jealous-spouse thing.

MAVIS
Because why? Remind me.

GERARD
Because we’re not self-disciplinary social regulators? What’s happening to you?
Sound of a knock.

SYLVIA is at OTTO’s door.

MAVIS
I don’t know, darling. Perhaps I no longer see music the way you do. Perhaps I never did.

GERARD
And how, exactly, do you see it?

MAVIS
Can’t it just be music?


HARRY
It’s never a good idea to have sex with people who have no interest in you, unless you have no interest in them – and that’s tour sex – and that’s always a bad idea.

DIRK
She’s not my type at all, and yet I want to have sex with her. You think maybe that’s why? You think that’s why I want to have sex with her? Because she’s a lesbian? What’s that called?

HARRY
Ten sessions with a therapist.


GERARD has stormed into OTTO’s room.

OTTO
What on earth are you wearing?

GERARD
It’s not a dress.

OTTO
Okay.

GERARD
We’re doing the Verklärte Nacht instead of the Schubert.

OTTO
You think I’m bothered?

GERARD
I know how you hate program changes.

OTTO
I’ll tell you what I hate: shifting ground – and moral equivalency. You know what elevates, as humans? Continuity. Accepted patterns of behaviour. Tonality!


Badum-tch!

Order your copy of Sextet today for $18.95