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Posted: Friday June 12, 2015
Read a Scene from The St. Leonard Chronicles

Steve Galluccio’s latest play, The St. Leonard Chronicles is “like a great antipasto in a family-run restaurant in Little Italy” (RoverArts.com); it is “full of crowd-pleasing, hyper-local jokes – mostly about Montreal’s Italian communities, which encompass Galluccio’s biggest fans” (Globe & Mail).

Galluccio began his career in the Montreal underground theatre scene in 1990. He burst into the mainstream with Mambo Italiano, one of the most successful plays in Canadian theatre history. His latest, The St. Leonard Chronicles, was another hit; it opened the 2013–14 season at Montreal’s venerable Centaur Theatre and sold out before its run. The play was extended and went on to sell more than twenty thousand tickets. The French version is currently on a twenty-four-city tour. Today on Meta-Talon, read a scene from the newly published edition!

The following scene comes from pages 34 to 36 of The St. Leonard Chronicles. In this scene (really more of a teaser than a whole scene…), newlywed couple Robert and Terry try to work up the nerve to tell their parents, all of whom are over for dinner, that they will be moving out of St. Leonard to Beaconsfield – a decidedly less Italian-influenced neighbourhood in Montreal – which is tantamount to committing a mortal sin in the eyes of their more traditional relatives. Of course, their confession causes the floodgates to open, and family secrets and grudges come pouring forth as steadily as the homemade wine. What more could you ask for in a comedy?


TERRY
You are so not supportive!

ROBERT
Can you calm down please?

TERRY
I can’t calm down. My heart is racing, my blood is boiling, I’m having a heart attack, my blood pressure is exploding, and we’re out of ravioli, so we’re having spaghetti!

TERRY takes a package of spaghetti from the cupboard and dumps it in the pot.

ROBERT
That’s nothing compared to how you’ll feel after we tell them.

TERRY
We haven’t told them yet?

ROBERT
No. We got sideswiped by the bridge, and my aunt Anna, and I stopped paying attention at that point.

TERRY
So maybe I told them while you weren’t paying attention?

ROBERT
No, but we have to tell them today. We put it off too long already.

TERRY
I am so exhausted! I don’t have it in me anymore. I’m too old for this.

ROBERT
You’re twenty-nine.

TERRY
I’m losing my will to live.

ROBERT
You’re giving up? What kind of Italian are you?

TERRY
Aren’t we supposed to be about la dolce vita and dolce far niente?

ROBERT
In Italy, they are. In St. Leonard, it’s all about who has the nicest pavé-uni and stocking up on Javel when it’s on special at the Pharmaprix. I’m going back in.

TERRY
I can’t do it.

ROBERT
Together we can.

TERRY
I’m telling you I can’t.

ROBERT extends his hand.

ROBERT
Come on, baby.

TERRY does not move.

ROBERT
Come on.

TERRY gives ROBERT her hand.

ROBERT
Take a deep breath.

TERRY takes a deep breath.

TERRY
Let’s go.


The St. Leonard Chronicles is available from Talonbooks for $16.95.